pissing contest
I’m tired of writing about other people, seriously. The only times I write about other people is when I’m pissed off at them. That’s boring.
Yes, people piss me off because they are not me. I don’t piss me off because I’m just so damn cool. You piss me off though.
If there was something that pissed me off the most it’d be you. If there was someone I enjoyed pissing off it’d be you. I piss everyone off and therefore everyone is pissed at me. And I’m pissed at them. In fact there’s so much piss lying around that it’s acting like a magnifier and now I can see through the yellow shade of piss to an enlarged version of your face with a yellow tint, which I am also pissed at.
You know what, this is stupid. Let’s just make a few things clear.
I hate people, especially when I’m pissed off at them. When someone pisses me off more, the more I hate them. So let’s just get a few things clear.
When confronted with a troublesome statement do you either:
a. avoid me (piss me off)
b. get angry at me (piss me off)
c. talk about it (doesn’t piss me off)
d. become masochistic (piss me off)
e. change the topic (piss me off)
f. start talking about how bad your childhood was (piss me off)
g. pick at the words I used (piss me off)
h. act as if you don’t understand (piss me off)
i. pick at unimportant details irrelevant to the statement (piss me off)
j. act as if false hopes will right your wrongs (piss me off)
k. try to physically attack me (piss me off)
l. tell all your friends to gang up on me (piss me off)
m. say how your one friend agrees with you therefore you must be right (piss me off)
n. curse at me (piss me off)
o. try to crack into a computer system in revenge (piss me off)
p. rapidly change emotions (piss me off)
q. become paranoid and act as if everything is a secret (piss me off)
r. act as if trust issues make it okay to do things which are wrong (piss me off)
s. apologize (sometimes pisses me off)
t. defend yourself logically (doesn’t piss me off)
u. say I’m not your friend anyway so it doesn’t matter (piss me off)
v. say that I’m a hypocrite with insubstantial proof (piss me off)
w. acting as if being a hypocrite would even make my current statements wrong (piss me off)
x. hold a grudge and act as if some past event means I’m wrong now (piss me off)
y. not be me (piss me off)
z. piss me off (piss me off)
Obviously you can tell if you piss me off or not using this quick list of 26 things you can do. It’s that simple. Most likely you’ve done one of these things at least once but who knows. Some people are stupider than others. Mostly you, because you’re not me, but that’s another story.
So to all the naysayers, you can shove it. If you’re using a method on that list that list that pisses me off even if you are right I’ll just hate you for being such a dumb fuck for using such a stupid method trying to prove it. You won’t see me giving praise just because you were right, or me expecting any when I am.
Achievement is not something to look up to, we all make achievements. Some bad, some good. Getting an ego high over achievements is useless. Lying about an achievement to get an ego high from other peoples responses is even stupider to the point where I can’t even explain how stupid it is.
Once, someone basically admitted to me that they thought I was right but didn’t want to say it because they thought it was feeding some kind of ego high. I laughed because that’s exactly how they are. I guess the golden rule even applies to other peoples stupidities.
Golden rule has it’s limits though. Eye for an eye can’t ever be played out perfectly, let’s not confuse the two anyway. Golden rule doesn’t mean do bad things to others just because someone else did them to you. It means do the things to others that you expect back. People seem to think that it means eye for an eye when it doesn’t.
Not that eye for an eye is a bad method all the time just when people who are using logical fallacies when proving themselves are trying to get revenge it’s not really justified revenge and at that they are just avoiding their problems.
So all I can say is stop pissing me off. It won’t matter anyway because you still won’t be as cool as me. You can still try though, I won’t hate you for it. It won’t give me an ego high because you will never be as cool as me and only I’m cool enough to do that. You can just sit over there in the corner or something.
I secretly don’t really hate you all. The conspiracy has been revealed.