pissing me off
I’m still having these bouts. It’s pissing me off. I just came home from therapy and as soon as I get home I have another health anxiety attack. I am really starting to get annoyed with this. I have an appointment with a dermatologist in 2 weeks and that’s a long time to be acting like this. I really want to get this checked out sooner. I can’t live with this uncertainty anymore.
I thought I made some progress but it seems the exact opposite. I’ve been unable to do much other than worry the past day. I had finally got over the last bout of this and then last night I’m itching my back and I notice a lump and it’s a mole and it was like bleeding or something. I tell myself that I probably picked it open and it’s nothing but I can’t convince myself that, I can’t wait the 2 weeks, It’s disturbing me too much. And even if I do go and they take it off and then I have to wait for the results I’ll be just as crazy then too, so I really don’t want to wait anymore.
I keep having these fears of skin cancer. I can’t stand it, I don’t know what to do.
god damnit I don’t want cancer. I don’t want to die, not now.